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Swift
Jul 24, 2010 19:37:15 GMT
Post by night on Jul 24, 2010 19:37:15 GMT
(THE SMALLER FEATURES);
Character name: Swift Age: 1 Year Gender: Female Animal: Canine Breed/s: Japanise Akita Inu Pack: Lexis Tribe
(I THINK I NEED A THERAPIST);
Personality: Swift is very protective as it is one of the breeds tradits. She is not easily angered but when she is you dont want to be in her firing line. She is normally a loyal, brave dog that will defend her tribe. She is very social and doesnt like being on her own she would rather be talking with her friends. She would never hurt one of her tribe or tell a differnt group any of the tribe secrets. Her natual hunting ability makes her a confident hunter and tracker. Althought she may be totaly loyal to the tribe she doesnt like to kill, she feels its unessasary and can be prevented. Three strengths: Brave. She isnt known to give up in a fight. Loyal. She would never dissobay orders. Kind. She treats everybody with the same respect. Three weaknesses: Hot headedness. She can become hot headed and agressive. Independence. She doesnt like being helped with stuff she can do by herself. Killing. She finds it hard to if she has to kill somebody.
(LOOKIN' AT MY REFLECTION);
Height: 64cm Weight: 30kg Appearance: Swift has an eyecatching red coat and a creamy white colour underneath. She has the bright green eyes and a very soft undercoat although the overcoat is slightly rough and hardened. Her tail is normally tightly currled around her back making it look like a ball on the top of her hips. She has normal sized ears but they are slightly pointed at the top. When challenged she puffs her chest out to make herself look larger.
(REMINISCING LIKE HELL);
History: Her mother died in birth and Swift was the only pup luck enough to survive with a differnt dog that nursed her. Her father was never known he was in the tribe but died before she was born so she never knew him. As a young teenager she sharpened her skills and hunting and tracking. Major turning points in life: When she was a teenager and young adult.
(ALL ABOUT YOU, YOU, YOU);
Roleplaying Sample: Swift padded softly around camp her fury paws took all the impact from the ground making it look like she was walking silently she sat down in a shady corner of camp and shook her gingery red fur out then licked her creamy chest a few times before gazing around Your name/nickname: Night Age: 14 How long you've been roleplaying for: about half a year A few interesting facts about you: normaly quiet shy and doesnt talk much but ill talk to people that are willing too. Also has an adiction to drawing dogs and cats o.O
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Swift
Jul 24, 2010 19:46:35 GMT
Post by ♥Picasso on Jul 24, 2010 19:46:35 GMT
Firstly, the personality is too short. Yours is only 112 words whilst the minimum word limit is 200 words.
Your appearance is only 77 words when it should be 150, your history is only 55 words when it should be 150 and your roleplaying sample is only 50 words when it should be 200.
Not only that, but you need to spell check your post because there are many spelling mistakes. There are also many grammar mistakes where commas and fullstops are needed.
Remember, this is a literate roleplay (: Fix these and she will hopefully be accepted.
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