Dr. Squeaky's corner of Laughter

[squeakysdream]

-in annoying reporter voice- Hello This is Squeaky, Dr. Squeaky that is and I have just issued laughter therapy for daily use! We will post funny quotes here from movies, books and even real life! But please do not share personal information and keep all hands, legs and feet inside the car at all times. Thank you!

(if a character from a fandom such as Garcia from Criminal Minds tell where they are from and who said it This is just for fun to have some laughs because laughter is the best therapy! ^^)

Teddy Roosevelt: Why are you slapping a monkey?
Larry: He's been pushing me and pushing me and I am sick of it!
(Night At The Museum)


Susan- Quick pretend you're talking to me!
Edmund- We are talking to you...
(The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspain Movie)

Twilight- *flying along*
Crow- *takes his lute*
Twilight- my lute!
Digger- Ah let them have it good riddance. *pause* Oh no!
Twilight- Oh Yes!
ALL- MRS.P!!!!
(Legends of the Guardians: The Owls Of Ga'Hoole Movie )

Digger: Hey! Oh, nice hunting, you should be really proud of yourself. Catching a moth that's already been caught.
Soren: Wait, you hadn't caught it!
Digger: ...I was very close. One might even say I was this close!
Digger: *moth flies away* Oh.
(Legends of the Guardians: The Owls Of Ga'Hoole Movie)

Digger: (to Soren and Gylfie) Do you even know the way to the Sea of Hoolemere? Twilight knows the way.
Twilight: Of course I know the way! We are off to the Sea of Huladance!
Digger: *whispers* It's Hoolemere.
Twilight: ...Hoolemere!
(Legends of the Guardians: The Owls Of Ga'Hoole Movie)

Elle: I may have something. Barbara Keller was having some trouble insuring some coins she bought. The insurance company thought they might be fake.
Hotch: So the insurance company is blowing up annoying clients?
(Criminal Minds: Won't Get Fooled Again)

Garcia: You've reached Penelope Garcia in the FBI's office of Supreme Genius.
Morgan: Hey it's Morgan. I need you to work some magic here. I've got a program called Deadbolt Defence and a girl with only a couple hours to live so what do you know?
Garcia: You've got a problem. Deadbolt's the number one password crack-resistant software out there. You're gonna have to get inside this guy's head to get the password.
Morgan: I thought I was calling the office of Supreme Genius.
Garcia: Well gorgeous, you've been re-routed to the office of Too Freakin' Bad.
(Criminal Minds: Extreme Agressor)

JJ: (about the incredible Sir Kneighf) Please don’t tell me you have a crush on a fictional character.
Garcia: He’s not fictional. He’s the online alter-ego of a real person.
JJ: Hmmm, you don’t even know anything about him, even if it is…him.
Garcia: Look, we meet online at specified times that he is never late to. We spend hours adventuring and chatting during which time I have his undivided attention and he lavishes me with flattery. When was the last time you had a date go that well?
JJ: See if he’s got a fictional brother.
(Criminal Minds: The Fisher King Part 1)

Elle: Um, Reid you probably saved my life in there.
Reid: Probably? I totally saved your life. And I'm pretty certain it's caught on tape.
(Criminal Minds: Derailed)

[squeakysdream]

Margo: Can we get stuffed crust?
Agnus, Edith and Minion: Ooooo stuffed crust...
Gru: I'm going to stuff you all in the crust!
(Despicable Me)

Megamind: (answering a cell phone) Ollo?
Minion: Uh, it's "hello", sir.
Megamind: Oh... Hello?
Megamind: Like that? *To Minion)
Minion: *gives him a thumbs-up*
(Megamind)


Titan: *hurls a skyscraper*
Roxanne Ritchi: What's the plan?
Megamind: It mostly involves not dying!
Roxanne Ritchi: That's a good plan, I like that plan...!
(Megamind)

Roxanne Ritchi: *smashing debris on Metro Man's head* How could you do this? The people of this city relied on you, and you deserted them! You left us in the hands of... HIM! *points at Megamind*
Roxanne Ritchi: (to Megamind) No offense.
Megamind: No, I'm with you! Look, I'll pay top dollar for your performance, but right now a madman is destroying our city!
(Megamind)

Metro Man: *crashes into the observatory, but finds no one present*
Megamind: *from projector* Over here, old friend! In case you've noticed, you've fallen right into my trap!
Metro Man: You can't trap justice! It's an idea, a BELIEF!
Megamind: Even the most heartfelt belief can get corroded over time!
Metro Man: Justice is a non-corrosive metal!
Megamind: But metals can be melted, by the heat of revanche!
Metro Man: It's REVENGE, and it's best served cold!
Megamind: But it can be easily reheated, in the microwave of evil!
Metro Man: Well, I think your warranty's about to expire!
Megamind: Maybe I got an extended warranty!
Metro Man: Warranties are invalid, if used beyond their intended purpose!
Roxanne Ritchi: *exasperated* Girls, girls, you're both pretty! Can I go home now?
(Megamind)

Roxanne Ritchi: I knew you'd come back!
Megamind: Well, that makes one of us...
(Megamind)

Roxanne Ritchi: You gave him these powers, can't you take them away?
Megamind: I can't! I lost the defuser gun when I misplaced the invisible car. The night you dumped me. Alone. In the rain... Did you ever look back...?
Roxanne Ritchi: No! *slams on brakes*
Megamind: *hits his head on the windshield* OH! My giant blue head!
Roxanne Ritchi: *sarcastic* Whoops, I guess we're here.
(Megamind)

Megamind: *to Minion* You dimwitted creation of science!
Roxanne Ritchi: *on the phone* Huh?
Megamind: N-not you, I was talking to my... Mother's urn!
(Megamind)

Titan: This is the last time you make a fool out of me!
Megamind: I made you a hero, you did the fool thing ALL BY YOURSELF!
(Megamind)

Megamind: Code: Fine!
Minion: Code: Fine back! Good luck on your date!
Megamind: I will!
Minion: That doesn't even make any sense!
Megamind: I know!
(Megamind)

[Kelabewly]

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