winter passing [Picasso]

[doll]

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[atrb=background,http://i53.tinypic.com/67rv9g.jpg] Brrrrrr… The frozen air swirled around the ginger she-cats fur as she made slow steps across the snow covered land. Even the bay, which Doll has never seen completely coated in ice before, was completely frozen. She assumed that if she wanted to walk on it, it wouldn’t be that hard of a task. The feline was good where she was, though; she didn’t want to take any chances accidentally slipping through the ice. As Doll took slow steps across the white land, her mind began to wander off to the fond memories she had on this land. Her first memory of this bay and her favorite was the memory she had of Pancake and the games they played. She smiled fondly as she remembered that he once called her his Queen and he was her King. The ginger cat even chuckled slightly as she remembered the many battles her and Pancake had against the ‘Tempirisians’. That first day on the beach was also the day that her kittens were conceived. Now her mind wandered to her kits, Nutmeg, Flurry, Knight, and Quincy. Quincy. The poor kit never got to live her life to the fullest; she died way too early in her life. Doll didn’t know the fate of the rest of her kits, though, as well as her mate. They could be dead for all Doll knew. She really hoped they weren’t. They were the most important people in her life and it was terrible to be away from them for so long. She would do anything if it meant being able to reconnect with the rest of them. It was sad being all by herself just wandering; that definitely wasn’t the life that she wanted to live. Since Doll began thinking about everyone that she’s missed for so long, she began to think about where they actually were. She didn’t even know what happened to make them all go away. One day she just woke up and realized that everyone was gone and had been. Then she left Hexasol, thinking that everyone had either done the same or faced something horrid that she didn’t want to think about. So, she left Hexasol for a while, but that really did her no good. Now that she was back, she still hadn’t been able to find any of those cats that she loved. Maybe, maybe if she searched long enough she would find one of them. That’s sincerely what she wished for, because the not knowing about what happened to them was almost worse than not being able to be with them.

[♥Picasso]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=background,http://i56.tinypic.com/o5tb13.jpg] [scrolly:h(500),w(279),sy] Rib Bay brought back memories that Nutmeg never realised that she had owned. Faded, long lost memories of being a kitten, being happy with her family, suckling from her mother. It was a strange experience to step onto the sandy ground and with each step she remembered. It had been a long time since Nutmeg had travelled back to the Lexis Tribe. The past year or two had been confusing, and she had been all but heartbroken over the disappearance of her best friend Grizzly. She longed to know what had happened to that crazy cat, but there was no trace of him anywhere. He could have been killed by dogs, or frozen to death last winter, and Nutmeg would never have found his body. Perhaps the Iris Pride had locked him away and he was now a subject to their torture? So many thoughts flitted through her mind, and there was barely a day that went by when she didn't think of her best friend. Nutmeg had briefly left Hexasol, back in the summer. She had no one left, and knew no one would miss her if she went. She had met several new faces on her travels, and she had loved spending time with them. Smiling at the fond memories, Nutmeg lowered her rump to the ground and gazed out at the horizon. The water had surprisingly frozen up at the horridly cold winter, and it had started snowing again. Huffing out a chilly breath, Nutmeg visibly began to shiver, her body rattling from the cold. Nutmeg longed for it to be summer again, when she had been happy and carefree, and the prey was plentiful. Closing her eyes, Nutmeg let the fond memories wash over her, and soon she began thinking of her family again. She had never actively tried to find her parents or siblings after they had all split away from each other. Quincy... Nutmeg knew she had died, long ago now, and it hurt to think about how she would never see her sibling again. As for Flurry and Knight... Nutmeg was at a loss. She sometimes got the vague, familiar scent of Flurry as she walked through Hexasol, but she had never met with her. And her parents? Nutmeg had loved her father, Pancake, but he too had disappeared from the Tribe. The last time she saw Pancake alive was when he was desperately searching for his mate. Nutmeg shook her head. Why had everyone vanished? Had her mother been ruthlessly killed as well? Biting her lip, Nutmeg stood again as the snow began to cling to her fur. If she wasn't careful, she would become buried in the snow. Coughing, Nutmeg began to walk again. It was foolish to be walking in the bitter cold like this. Ever since she was a kitten, Nutmeg had easily gotten ill. She more commonly had a hacking cough than not. Nutmeg wished she could be like every other healthy cat, but that day would never come. She would always get sick and ill, and perhaps one day that would be the death of her. As Nutmeg's paws sunk deep into the snow, she realised that there were fresh pawprints along the beach. They were already half-full with snow, but the scent was still strong in the air. Her heart leapt when she recognised a long lost scent. Squinting into the distance, Nutmeg tried to see any figures in the distance, but the snowstorm was too thick and hazy. Breaking into a run, she began ploughing her way through the snow, until a figure came into her view. At first, it looked like just any other marmalade cat, but the closer she got, the more she realised that this could actually be her mother. After two years, and they could finally be reunited. Gasping for breath, Nutmeg's chest heaved as she got closer, until she was in speaking distance with the cat. "Is that really you, mother?"

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[doll]

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[atrb=background,http://i53.tinypic.com/67rv9g.jpg] Once Doll was content with where she stood, she sat down and stared into the ice of the bay. Normally when she came here she would watch as the water lapped against the shore, but she got the same effect from just staring into the ice. The ginger cat hadn’t really been sitting there for long before soft flakes began to fall from the sky again. It had been a harsh winter so far, and the she-cat knew it was going to continue. She hoped that if Nutmeg and Knight were still out there somewhere in the world that they were doing okay in this terrible weather; she knew they were constantly sick in the winter. Then she heard a voice that she would recognize anywhere. It was a bit more matured from the last time she heard it two years ago, but it was the same voice. Nutmeg. Doll turned towards her daughter and was filled with so much emotion that she didn’t know what to do. It had been two years since she had last seen her daughter, and that was a long time. She didn’t know if she was lying dead somewhere or if she had had kits of her own or anything of the sort. But she was here in the flesh and blood, standing here in front of her mother, and Doll was filled with more joy than she had ever felt before. “Nutmeg!” Doll nearly screeched as she jumped up from where she was sitting and threw herself at her daughter. “Oh, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you! Where have you been? I missed you so much! I was so scared that something had happened to you, that maybe you weren’t alright or something. I had no clue where you were and I just missed you so much!” Doll stopped talking to take in exactly what was happening. She couldn’t be dreaming, could she? She hadn’t heard or smelled her daughter coming up to her, but standing here now, looking at her now, it couldn’t possibly be a dream, could it? That would be a cruel, cruel dream. No, this definitely couldn’t be a dream, this was definitely reality, and Nutmeg was here. Her daughter was alive and in no way harmed, and that thought alone gave Doll hope for the rest of her family. “I’m glad you’re okay!”

[♥Picasso]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=background,http://i56.tinypic.com/o5tb13.jpg] [scrolly:h(500),w(279),sy] Although the bitter cold was chilling Nutmeg's insides, the love in her heart for her mother was almost countering out the cold. With a wide smile on her lips, Nutmeg ran to the ginger feline and breathed in the familiar, reminiscent scent. Faded memories became clearer in those few seconds, and she remembered her kittenhood with such clarity that it made her jolt. Doll had loved her and the others, and Nutmeg had forgotten just how lonely these last few years had been. She had been aimlessly wandering, with no purpose in life, and yet here she was, reunited once again. It was as though a miracle had happened, yet in reality it was nothing more than being in the same place at the same time. Besides, seeing as they were both Lexis, it was pretty likely that they would see each other once again. As Doll fired questions at her daughter, Nutmeg just smiled and arched her back fondly. That concerned yet ecstatic voice made Nutmeg's heart swell unbearably, and she nearly forgot to breathe from happiness. Purring, Nutmeg, pulled back to look at her mother, "I should be asking you the same thing," She replied, "I was barely a year old and I didn't know where you went. Admittedly, I left Lexis for a while, to explore the rest of the city, but when I came back you were gone.

[/color] Nutmeg gazed at her mother with sad, amber eyes. Nutmeg remembered how swaddled she had been as a kitten from her constant sickness, and how she had often been forced to remain in that old airport for weeks on end, with no contact other than her siblings. Nutmeg had hated it, and once she had been old enough she'd left, not looking back. She'd explored Hexasol as an adult, meeting up with Grizzly once again, but when she finally grew tired of the big world, she'd gone back to Lexis. What she found was a broken family, with only her father remaining.

"Dad said you'd disappeared,"[/color] Nutmeg whispered quietly as she remembered how horrified she had been. She had not been naive at that age, and knew that most felines that went missing usually never returned. Perhaps she had grieved then, perhaps that's why she'd suddenly gotten so much quieter than usual. Perhaps that's why, in the end, she left Hexasol in hope for a better life. "Where did you go?"[/color] Nutmeg finally said, looking back at her mother with curious eyes, "Dad left as well, in the end. I don't know where he is. Probably distraught with loneliness, knowing him."[/color] Nutmeg felt a little bad at saying such things to Doll, but she was angry at her mother for leaving. Her father, Pancake, was one of those cats that people believed it to be a miracle he'd survived to adulthood. There was a very likely chance that he hadn't been able to survive on his own, without a Tribe there to look after him.

Shivering, Nutmeg decided it wasn't worth thinking about.
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[doll]

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[atrb=background,http://i53.tinypic.com/67rv9g.jpg] Doll began to ache on the inside when she heard what Nutmeg was saying. The she-cat was such a bad mother to her kits. As Nutmeg had said, they were only a year, just one year, when she disappeared. They had all left her, though. She didn’t know where any of them went. Quincy was gone, Nutmeg said she left Lexis, she assumed that Knight and Flurry did the same, and Pancake, she had had no clue about him. Maybe she just hadn’t looked hard enough. And maybe she was just making excuses for herself. Maybe it was actually her who disappeared first and the rest followed after. She didn’t know and she didn’t have a good reason for why she left and why she was gone so long. There was really no good excuse to make. Doll winced as her daughter mentioned how Pancake was probably lonely right now. The ginger cat really didn’t mean for it to happen like that. She really didn’t even mean for any of this to happen to all! If she could take it all back she would. That wasn’t going to happen, though. Everyone was all spread out and Doll, and well as Nutmeg, were probably never going to see Pancake again. If her mate was out in this world somewhere, cold and alone, it was all her fault. She was the only one to blame for the breaking up of her family. All of her kits, her mate, they were all split up and there was nothing to she-cat could do to clean up the mess she had made. “I know words can never really fix much,” Doll began. “But, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you and your siblings and father alone. I thought I was the only one left here when I left, but I guess I wasn’t. I should have tried harder to look for you. I probably should have never left at all, but I can’t change the fact that I did no matter how much I wish to.” She paused to look up at her daughter and though she was filled with joy to have her back, there was also that ache of sadness for all the pain she caused the ones she loved. “I don’t even truly know where I went. I just wandered and wandered until I finally came back to Hexasol. It was stupid and I never should have done it.” Doll shook her head in defeat and sighed. “Can you forgive me for what I did, Nutmeg?” The ginger cat murmured as she looked up to her daughter with hope filled eyes.