{Cold} as the Northern {Wind} [Zen]

[{Mactíre}]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true]

[atrb=background,http://i51.tinypic.com/qzgjh1.jpg] . . . In December mornings; cold is the cry that rings from this far, distant shore. It was several hours before dawn - or it would have been if it hadn't been winter. The sky was dark, not just with the absence of the sun, but also with presence of many dark, ominous clouds. A freezing wind sprang up, whipping the frost-bitten grass of the meadow back and fourth as as if the earth were a frenzied beast, attempting to pull a poison arrow from itself as it writhed in agony. No beast in their right mind would be out in such weather - the clouds and wind were the messengers, the omens and portents of the snow storm to come. But one creature had not heeded nature's warning - a she-wolf, as white as the snow that had just begun to fall. She was huddled under a tree in almost the centre of the meadow, in the lee of a small dip in the ground. The tree in question was small, and barely gave her any protection at all from the elements, and yet she did not move. If one had been close enough to see, they would have known why; her belly bulged with something much more than fat, something, or somethings, that were very precious. Her brown eyes, glazed with sheer exhaustion, never left her belly as she waited, regardless of what went around her. Rikki gasped in pain as a contraction sent tremors through her scrawny, underfed body. She forced her head down as the wind blew more strongly, tossing snow every which way as it began to fall thicker and faster, glancing at the small den that she had dug in preparation for the birth of her cubs. She wished fervently that she had stayed within the confines of Tempest pack territory - but she hadn't been able to. With her mate missing, she had not been able to rest, even if she was pregnant. Instead, she'd come out here several days ago, when it had actually been sunny. She'd managed to catch a scrawny rabbit - barely a mouthful for a hungry wolf, even one as small as she was - before she had collapsed from exhaustion. She should have known it was going to happen - it had the last time she'd gone looking for Gravity, but she'd refused to listen to her common sense. Unable to move far, the Arctic wolf had waited until she had enough strength, and then had begun to dig a den that could provide shelter for her cubs, if not her as well. She had been unable to do it all in one go, and had dug it gradually, bit by bit over the last few days. Now as the lone female lay on the cold ground, she knew, from the size of her belly and the knot it had screwed itself into, that she was about to give birth, and braced herself. Still, she could not prevent a gasp of pain from leaving her as another contraction ripped through her body. She did what she knew instinctively to do: she pushed. A small, furred bundle slid onto the ground, covered in a filmy white substance and blood. Turning around so that her body sheltered her first-born from the elements, she nipped open the sac and licked the tiny form all over. She examined him as she did so; his fur was a startling black, his eyes, like all newborn cubs', were tightly shut, and she knew he was a he. Repositioning her body once more, so that her cub would be inside the den, she nudged him towards her nipples with her nose. He tottered into the den, but so slowly and haltingly that she wondered if something was wrong with him. As he finally settled down and began to suckle, the she-wolf gazed at him, searching her mind for a name. It did not take long to come to her: Orion, her mother had taught her, was one of the great stars, shining in the sky. There was no reason why her firstborn should not shine like a star. "Orion," she murmured, gazing at him with her tired, yet wondering eyes. She was pulled from such thoughts when another tremor caused her to yelp in pain. It felt like this cub was determined to claw its was out of her belly. Little Orion squeaked indignantly at being dislodged as sank his needle-sharp teeth into the nipple to which he clung. Ignoring this addition to her pain, she pushed once more, and another cub left her body. Ripping the sac open with her teeth, she found as she licked the second cub that it was a female. Her pelt colour reminded her of Gravity's, and a wave of loss swamped her, before she remembered that this cub would die if she did not care for it. The white wolf noticed that her daughter was terribly scrawny and unsteady on her little paws, so she carefully set her teeth into her scruff and lifted her, placing her gently next to her brother. The tiny female did not hesitate as she found a nipple and her mother's milk, and began to feed, sucking away lustily. The sight of the two cubs lying side by side brought a smile to Rikki's lips. A name for her daughter, a name - this time she thought of the stories her mother had told. There had been one about the great, female warriors of the far, cold north - the Valkyries. As if echoing her thoughts, the wind picked up once more, and the snow now fell as if thrown by a giant hand, covering the ground and soaking the she-wolf's fur, causing her to shiver with cold. "Valkyrie," she affirmed for her second child, thinking, knowing that to survive as a female in this harsh world, her daughter would need the spirit of a warrior. The canine's body contracted several times, and a third cub emerged; as she cleaned his body, she gazed at his fur, which for the most part was white, as hers was. Something about him reminded her of one of her brothers, and suddenly she knew what to call him. "My little Lyall," she addressed him affectionately, above the howl of the wind and the blizzard. Nudging him gently into the den with her snout, she watched as he joined his siblings. Doing her best to ignore the bitter cold and the wind that howled in her ears, Rikki turned her attention to her belly once more; she could feel that there was at least one more cub to be born. Gritting her teeth against the pain, she pushed until a fourth cub lay in the the snow. Biting off the sac that surrounded him, she licked him as she had done the others, And with the sight of his patchy, partially grey, partially white fur, she was reminded of her mother's description of her father, a great, strong Arctic wolf who had not been born white like most others of his breed. Pressing her nose to her third son's tiny head, she whispered, "Adrian. Live to make your grandfather proud." As if he had heard her, her son lifted his head and a small pink tongue brushed her muzzle in a lick. Placing him next to Lyall, she felt yet another wave of contractions run through her body. Exhausted, she pushed as best she could, and a limp bundle emerged. Opening the sac, she licked her second daughter's white fur, cleaning it, but there was no response. Nudging her with her nose, she began to panic. Why wasn't she moving? Lying her head on the ground, she ignored the coldness that chilled her head as it touched the snow, and waited. No breath stirred the fur on her muzzle; the fifth cub was not moving. Finally the new mother realised the truth: her little daughter was dead. Throwing up her head, she let out a howl of grief. Her anguished cry mingled with the wail of the blustering wind, and was carried away. The cold forced Rikki to act, and she dug a small hole with her paws, gingerly moving the stillborn cub so that she was lying in the hole. Her heart heaving, she turned back to her living cubs. They all seemed to be fine; Orion and Valkyrie had finished feeding and were asleep, tucked into the curve of her body. Adrian and Lyall were attached to her nipples still, filling their bodies with the rich milk that was essential to their good health. Despite the death of one of them, she had four beautiful, healthy cubs. Sighing, she was about to curl around her children and go to sleep when a scent, hauntingly familiar, was thrown her way by the wind. Instantly awake, she stared all around, not able to see more than several metres in front of her, owing to the blizzard. Her body was rigid; her eyes blazed with the fierce determination of a mother who would do anything to protect her cubs, no matter what the cost.

[/justify][/size][/blockquote][/color][/td][/tr][tr][td][/td][/tr][/table][/center][/size]

[Zen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true]

[atrb=background,http://i1198.photobucket.com/albums/aa446/jadedog08/PanjaTableBg-1.png] Panja moved through the raging white storm, slow and quiet as a ghost. With the Iris Pride now far behind him, his paws glided through the frozen wasteland that had once been the grassy meadow, his body nearly invisible against the continuous stream of falling snow. Why, exactly, he had left his home he wasn’t certain. Iris had at one time been a place of comfort and safety for him, but now all he felt when he walked the alleys and roofs of the pridelands was emptiness, a complete lack of feeling. It was as if nothing and nobody mattered to him anymore. Of course, he still and would always have love for his children, but even they did nothing to help heal the gaping wound in his heart. He could hardly bear to look at them anymore, since all he saw in their faces was her. The frequent journeys he made into the countryside did little to ease his pain, but they at least provided a welcome change of scenery. And being alone gave him a chance to think. The pride was growing worried and frustrated with him, he knew. His lack of motivation for leading Iris was completely obvious to everyone, and he would not have been surprised if a few cats were plotting behind his back to usurp his rank. He might have willingly given it up, too. The pride deserved a strong, capable warrior to guide them, not a grief-stricken old fool. As Panja walked on through the blizzard, the strength was slowly being sapped from his body. Maybe instinct had guided him out into this snowstorm to die; maybe his body knew it was finally time to give up. After the agony he had endured in the past months, he almost welcomed the idea of death. The snow swirled around him in a blinding cyclone, where all he saw was white in front of him. A vast, never ending void of nothingness. He felt so completely alone. The wind pushing against his ears deafened him until he could hear nothing but the blood pounding in his head. His limbs were slackened, the muscle and ligaments growing stiff and numb from the cold his African body was so unaccustomed to. Eventually the sheet of snow falling around his face cleared somewhat, allowing him to see the large, twisted shape of a barren tree in the far off distance. A place to rest at last. Panja forced his paws to move forward. He couldn’t collapse in the middle of the meadow, for if he did, the snow would cover him and he would never be found. If he was meant to die out here, he at least wanted someone to bring his body back to the Iris Pride to be properly buried. And something else lay beyond him, too. As he moved in, a freezing gust of wind pushed the scent of canine into his nose, and soon his eyes were fixated on the weary face of a white wolf. A face that was at once familiar to him, but only distantly, as if she was from another life. Panja stood before the escaped prisoner and tried to recall her name. Rikki. He stopped then, his mouth parting open in shock. His eyes, cold as the ice beneath his paws, traveled down to the squirming bodies at her side, and then to the pool of drying blood around her tail that had stained the snow black. She had given birth. The smell of it lingered on the wind, painfully reminding him of the times he had helped Florence through her labors, first for Streiter’s cubs and later his own. “Very wise of you to venture out here alone,” he addressed her, the dark sarcasm practically dripping off his tongue. She looked weak and utterly defenseless, unable to move from her rooted spot without harming her precious pups. The moment she stopped giving them her warmth, the moment they would succumb to the icy chill of the blizzard and freeze to death. She might have been able to outrun Panja at the cost of her newborns’ lives, but it was a sacrifice he knew she would never make. No mother would. His gaze wandered over the length of her frail body, paying particular attention to the scars and disfigurements that were scattered along her entire form. Years of torture and abuse had left her ragged and almost ruined, and yet here she was with a litter of children. Part of him wondered how her broken body had even managed to produce cubs at all. Obviously, he knew who the father must have been. It wasn’t likely she would have wanted any other mate besides the male she had been longing for during all that time in captivity, the wolf whose name was both hated and ridiculed around the Iris Pride. The wolf who had largely been the reason for the countless tortures that were inflicted upon her. “And where is your dear Gravity?” Panja asked, the corner of his mouth quirking into a sneer. He didn’t detect any other scents around the area besides the two of them, meaning the timber wolf wasn’t simply out hunting for his new cubs. Gravity hadn’t been here at all. Had he disappeared from Tempest once again? Panja neither knew, nor really cared. It had been a long time since Gravity had posed any kind of a threat to the Pride – it was only that psychotic Brooke they had to deal with now. The old lion sank his haunches into the snow, measuring her. Clearly, it would take hardly any effort on his part to kill her and the tiny bastards. He could close the short distance between them and be done with it in a matter of seconds. But something, he wasn’t sure what, was holding him back...

[/size][/blockquote][/color][/td][/tr][tr][td][/td][/tr][/table][/center]

[{Mactíre}]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true]

[atrb=background,http://i51.tinypic.com/qzgjh1.jpg] What if I wanted to fight? Beg for my life? What would you do? Panja. As soon as she had identified the scent, Rikki was more on guard than ever. He had been Florence's mate before she died; one of the felines that she hated most, for being so cruel to her and every canine he could get his paws on. And, more than anything else, what he had done, what he had helped to do to those poor wolf cubs the first time he had met her. A shiver that was nothing to do with the bone-chilling cold ran through her body, and her eyes narrowed to slits. What would he do when he stumbled across her? Simply kill her, and then leave her children to die? It didn't bear thinking about. So the new mother didn't think about it. She sat and waited, her ears angled to catch any sound that stuck out from the howling of the wind. When he came, she wanted to be ready for him. The Arctic wolf's patience was rewarded: A white face, identifiable in the snowstorm because of the greying hairs at the edge of it, and a pair of blue-grey eyes that flickered as they took in her shape. The white lion, who had been the Iris Pride's leader since his mate's death, looked the worse for wear from what she could see, and was obviously surprised to see her here, from his open mouth and wide eyes. Her heart pounded in her chest as she waited for him to do something, anything. His eyes were cold as he examined her, taking in the cubs at her side and the dark, blood-stained snow behind her. Finally he spoke, his voice laced with sarcasm. Ever quick to respond, even with a litter of cubs at her belly, Rikki growled, "No one chooses the time to give birth. You of all males should know that." She remembered hearing from some gossiping guards, back when she had been a prisoner to the Iris Pride, say that, apparently, Florence had given birth to Strieter's cubs, out in the snow, with only the white lion Panja for protection. Then, who should turn up but Brooke and Hueso, the General of the Tempest Pack and one of her accomplices. She was sure that Panja remembered that time quite clearly, if he had truly loved his mate. The wind pushed against the she-wolf, freezing cold snow whipping across her body, making her quiver. She couldn't let her anger take hold of her. She didn't have enough strength for that - she had to care for her cubs. She wished she could drive the lion away, so that she could rest. Instead, she had to keep a civil tongue in her head to avoid him killing her in his anger, and hope that he would leave of his own accord. This was one of the creatures from whom she had escaped, and her body and her mind had yet to forget the times he'd inflicted pain on her. Yet her fear was not for herself - but for the little bundles of fur at her side. He was a cub-killer, and she vowed then and there that her children would not suffer the same fate of those poor, unnamed little wolves. The silence stretched between them, and Panja broke it by asking her the worst thing he possibly could have asked. Rikki heard the sneer in his voice and saw it on his face. She wished she could make him wipe it off - and she could, really. Her voice shook with unconcealed rage as she replied, "Can't you answer that yourself? He's not here, obviously! Keep your mouth off him, Panja - you're in no position to speak of my mate like that, not when Florence is. . ." She trailed off, staring into his eyes, almost challengingly. Inside, though, she was nursing the freshly-opened wounds that Gravity had left by going away. She'd heard several speculative rumours in the month and a half since her mate's disappearance. Some of the Tempest Pack said he must have left because he didn't want to become a father - others had stemmed from that. It made the female want to shake the lot of them as a mother shakes her misbehaving cub by the scruff. She knew Gravity loved her; but she didn't have a clue as to why he had gone, or where he had gone to. What are you waiting for? I'm not running from you. OOC; Ugh, it sucks, and I'm sorry. DD8

[/justify][/size][/blockquote][/color][/td][/tr][tr][td][/td][/tr][/table][/center][/size]

[Zen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true]

[atrb=background,http://i1198.photobucket.com/albums/aa446/jadedog08/PanjaTableBg-1.png] Giving a great, shuddering sigh, Panja let the rest of his body collapse into the snowdrift so that his belly was resting flat against the thick pile of white powder. He was so weak he could no longer even keep himself sitting upright. The cold was draining every ounce of energy from him, leaving the old lion with nothing but fatigue and numbness. At her answer to his first query, Panja’s frost-coated whiskers twitched with impatience. “Clearly. I was actually referring to the fact that you seem to have purposefully left the safety of Tempest to give birth in this wilderness. You…are a member of Tempest now, yes?” His head cocked gently to the side, scrutinizing her through narrowed eyes. It seemed the only logical place for her to go after her unexpected escape from the former Iris jailhouse. Yet maybe she had chosen to leave the pack again after Gravity left. Who knew. He gave a mirthless laugh at the anger she displayed for his comment on the whereabouts of the grey wolf. Of course he knew Gravity was gone, but he wanted to see her admit it to herself. And he wasn’t going to counter her jab at Florence with his own anger and sadness, because he wanted to prove it wouldn’t faze him. Even if he did feel as if a weight had been dropped on his heart at the slightest mention of her name. “Florence’s sacrifice was noble,” Panja stated calmly, meeting her challenge with steely coldness. “She gave her life in exchange for that of her children. Gravity has simply abandoned you. Do not compare the two of them, dog.” He angled his head away from her, letting the fringe of his mane block the white wolf from his view. If Gravity was known to be dead, he would have heard about it. The former Tempest leader must have upped and left one day without a trace, and he couldn’t fathom why this girl would place so much faith and love in someone so unpredictable. But whatever the reason, she loved him, and everyday must have been torture without him by her side. As much as Panja disliked the idea of having anything in common with this dog, he could relate to Rikki’s pain. He eventually broke the silence, and this time his voice was quieter and without any of the previous sarcasm or malice. “To answer the question I’m sure you must be wondering, no, I’m not going to kill you. It would serve no purpose, and I am tired anyway.” He faced her again, his expression impassive, but his eyes held the truth in his words. He wasn’t going to hurt her, at least not today. ooc: nah Mac, your posts are great. mine are the sucky ones xD

[{Mactíre}]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true]

[atrb=background,http://i51.tinypic.com/qzgjh1.jpg] Rikki watched wordlessly as Panja sank down to lie in the snow. Surely he must be very tired, to lie down in something that would, ultimately, only weaken him? Wondering wryly why she was worrying about him when she should be glad he wasn’t stronger, strong enough to simply kill her and her cubs, she turned her gaze to his face as he spoke, his voice edged with annoyance. The Arctic wolf gave a short, barking laugh filled with bitterness. “I left Tempest purposely, yes. To give birth, no. If you must know, Panja, I was looking for Gravity, and the fact that I was near my time did not stop me from doing so. I am a member of Tempest in the sense that I reside there. . . I’m really nothing more than another escaped prisoner to be cared for.”

[/b] Everything had changed so much since she had first left her beloved pack. Brooke, crazy from Florence’s slaughter of her pups over a year ago, was nothing as a leader compared to Baron, or even Gravity, at least not any more. She did little to actually lead the pack these days. Plus, whenever anyone saw Rikki now, all they could do was whisper to their friends about how Gravity had betrayed everyone who knew him, including her. She couldn’t bear it.

She barred her teeth as he laughed at her show of anger. The fury cooled to become hate, hard and cold as ice, as the white lion spoke again. Her reply was spoken with coldness to rival his as she defied his words. “Then it was one of the few noble things she ever did in her life. Don’t try to pretend, cat. Gravity was always a better-hearted creature than her. Florence was rotten to the core, and it took something she valued, such as your children, to make a sacrifice. Gravity gave himself for Tempest every day that he led them, and just because he’s disappeared again doesn’t mean anything, especially not what you’re implying.”[/b] Her brown eyes were as cold as granite, and she recalled that she had referred to Tempest as them, not us. But in truth, she didn’t feel a part of the pack any more. Everything had changed for the worse, and she no longer belonged there.

As Panja looked away from her, Rikki turned back to her cubs in the burrow she had dug, checking on them. Having drunk their fill, they were all sleeping peacefully against her side, lulled by their full bellies and the warmth that their mother and the shelter provided. She saw now when she looked at them that Adrian, the little grey cub, and Valkyrie, the timber female, closely resembled Gravity, in pelt colour, at least. Lyall looked the most like her, and Orion, the odd one out, had a coat like his uncle’s, for one of the she-wolf’s brother had been black pelted, too. Suddenly she ached worse than ever for Gravity, the cold biting into her like a thousand claws. If things had been different, if she hadn’t been captured by the Iris Pride, would she have been safe at Gravity’s side in a cosy room of the Mental Asylum, with him as the Warden, and her as the Mistress of Tempest? She would never know now.

A single tear leaked from one of the ivory female’s eyes, running down her face for a few seconds before freezing and melting again. With a deep, shuddering sigh, she turned back to the Iris leader as he spoke quietly. “You do look tired, too,”[/b] she replied, and if they had not been sworn enemies, there might have been a touch of sympathy in her voice. “Losing a loved one seems to do that.”[/b] Her voice was choked as she spoke the last sentence, and she looked aside from Panja. This pain was worse than anything he or anyone else had done to her physically or mentally. Rikki bowed her head as the storm raged on, not wanting the feline to see the agony that showed, all too plainly, on her face.

OOC;; Sorry this took so long, and your posts are awesome, seriously! Some super angstyness from Rikki there at the end, though.[/font][/justify][/size][/blockquote][/color][/td][/tr][tr][td][/td][/tr][/table][/center][/size]

[Zen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true]

[atrb=background,http://i1198.photobucket.com/albums/aa446/jadedog08/PanjaTableBg-1.png] Panja was surprised at her apparent lack of attachment to the pack. She had spent so much time longing to return to her homeland, and now it meant nothing to her? Confusion flashed in his eye, but it was gone in a moment and he simply shrugged his shoulders apathetically. He was, however, more than a little irked by what she suggested next. His tail lashed out behind him, the only sign he allowed to show that he was angry. “I know you want to think of Gravity as some brave hero and Florence as nothing more than a monster, but it is not so black and white,” he countered evenly. “Consider it from our perspective. Gravity and those mutts he led were the ones responsible for destroying our home, kidnapping and torturing our innocent cubs, and decimating half of our pride. He was a kind-hearted creature to you because you felt something for him.” He paused, in slight disbelief of what he was about to admit. “It is the same way I feel for Florence. I was forgiving of everything she had done because I loved her. Maybe if I hadn’t felt anything for her, if I had just been another pridemember, I would have been appalled at her actions and taken a stand against her leadership as so many others have tried to do. I still love her, of course, and I will always love her, but her death has made me see the truth. She was far from the perfect lioness I had always imagined her as. And yet for all of her faults, she did have goodness inside her. I certainly don’t expect you to believe me, but I saw it. I saw it when we were alone together, or when she’d nurse our cubs.” He let out a puff of breath, and the mist that expelled from his mouth was quickly sucked into the swirling winds. “The point is, whether you are willing to admit it to yourself or not, our love for our mates has blinded us both.” Panja watched her, almost challengingly, to see whether she would disagree. But it didn't really matter if she agreed or not; he knew he was right. There was not a single soul who held as much respect for Gravity as this girl sitting in front of him did. Just as no one loved Florence as much as he. Minutes later, he caught sight of something that glistened down the side of her cheek. Was she…? She was crying. Actually crying. He couldn’t believe it. In all that time she had been locked away as a prisoner, he had never once seen her shed a single tear. It was a bazaar thing to see from such proud animal. Was this what it looked like to lose all hope? Her new cubs must have been the only thing she was still living for. And in a year’s time, when her pups were adults and no longer in need of her care, then what? She would have nothing – no real pack, no mate, no reason to go on. But Panja had more than just his three children to live for. He had the Iris Pride (or what little was left of it), he had Kira and his few other friends, and he had the promise he made to Florence. The promise that he would carry on her legacy. The promise he had completely chosen to disregard and forget about. Realizing this, he knew he needed to make a change. He had been grieving for too long and it was time to start living again, to make the best of his remaining time. All he could do was stare strangely at her while she continued to weep. Eventually she spoke again, and he made a low mmm sound in the back of his throat that signaled his agreement. “The only comfort we can take is knowing that we may join them again, someday soon.” Spending eternity with Florence didn’t sound that bad at all. Then, suddenly, he laughed and shook his head at his own words, as if they had been something a childish cub would suggest. “Or maybe I really am an old fool. Maybe nothing awaits us after death except loneliness and darkness.” And yet that didn’t sound so bad either. Nothing but dark, silent peace… no pain, no sadness, no guilt… And there he went again. He couldn’t constantly keep thinking about death like this. He was going to live. Maybe it was just his imagination, but it seemed to be getting colder, if that was actually possible. He had to survive the storm somehow, hold it out until the snow stopped falling and he could return back safely to his home. But who knew how long that would take? He was so stupid to have ever ventured out here.

[{Mactíre}]

Rikki saw Panja’s moment of confusion at her declaration about Tempest. It was true, though; she had once been one of the Pack’s best soldiers, with enough ambition for several canines. But she had changed since her capture. She no longer hated all felines, even though being tortured by the Iris Pride should have caused her to hate them more, not less. She might still have wanted to lead Tempest, but there was no chance of that now. And for a natural Drappa such as herself, at this point in her life, she either led, or was a loner. She didn’t expect the white lion to understand; it was different for felines.

As the she-wolf had expected, her comparison of their mates angered Panja. Her eyes flashed with anger at his words; he would put it that way, wouldn’t he? Allowing her fury to get the better of her, she countered, “You wouldn’t think of Florence so well if she’d tortured you to the point where you thought you’d lost your mind!” She had never truly recovered from all that happened to her while she had been the Iris Pride’s captive; her mind and body was too scarred for her to be able to forget any of it, and there were times where she felt as if it would be best to succumb to madness, to become a whimpering, drooling mess. How could he know how that felt? Always the hunter, never truly the hunted. But when she thought about what the feline male has said, she had to admit, he was right. Nothing was black and white. Panja and Florence had loved each other, yet they had allowed creatures to die for them, uncaring, and tortured those whom they hated, simply for pleasure. But Gravity was not without fault, and neither was she. They’d both killed felines in their time, thinking that it was the right thing to do, rejoicing in each limp, furry body.

Rikki’s eyes widened slightly as Panja revealed his feelings to her. He was right; love was blind. “Love can be a hindrance as much as a joy,” she conceded. “And I believe what you say about Florence. You could not have truly loved her if there was something there that was pure and honest,” It was the closest thing to an apology that he would ever get from the proud female. “Just as with Gravity. His hatred of felines was the darkness in him; I believe that was drove him to gather the Scavengers. You are right, no one is perfect, but few are completely what any beast would call evil.” She realised then that Panja had loved Florence more deeply than anything she had seen of them could indicate; that he could admit that he loved her and that she wasn’t flawless told her that.

As the Arctic wolf wept, she noticed that the white lion had fallen silent and was staring at her blankly. As her tears subsided, a noise of agreement emanated from his throat, in reply to her last remark. “Yes. That is true,” she rumbled softly, her face grim. Once her cubs were grown up and went their own ways, there would be no reason for her to live, really; but until then, she had to be strong for them. Then, when the time came, she could leave all her pain and suffering behind, all her unfulfilled hopes and dreams.

Rikki shivered as more snow landed on her exposed flank and back. She knew that unless she enlarged the burrow she had created, she would have no shelter when night came, and she might die from sheer cold before then. I was mad to have come out here, she thought to herself. If her cubs died because of her selfish loneliness, her need to seek out her missing mate, she would never forgive herself.

[Zen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true]

[atrb=background,http://i1198.photobucket.com/albums/aa446/jadedog08/PanjaTableBg-1.png] Panja wrinkled his nose, then replied caustically, “And would you love Gravity if he caused the kidnapping and death of one of your own children?” He was thinking of his youngest son, Orbit. He had only had his littlest cub for a few months before the Tempest had taken him and abused him to the point where he was unable to recover. A new wave of anger and grief boiled up inside, and for a split second he was about to instinctually lash out and attack her. But no. He held himself back, knowing it wouldn’t do any good to kill his only chance at surviving this snowstorm, for it was quickly becoming apparent to him that they were going to need to rely on one another to make it through this. At least she admitted Gravity was far from flawless as well. They could both concede that their relationships with their mates weren’t perfect and focus on the higher priority here. “Look, if we don’t do something quickly, we will both perish in this storm.” His low voice trembled slightly as a powerful shiver coursed through his entire being. Even with her thickly layered fur, Rikki would have a hard time holding on to both herself and the puppies until the blizzard finally passed. Panja’s strength was rapidly depleting, and he felt as if any second he might succumb to his body’s demands and collapse, unable to get back up. “Come here, rest yourself and your cubs against me. We must share our body heat.” In spite of the dire situation, he smirked in anticipation for what her reaction to this suggestion might be. She might refuse at first, he hardly had a doubt about that. But what other option was there? It was either this or suffering a slow, agonizing death as the snow consumed them all. Hopefully she would see that she needed him now. And that he needed her.

[{Mactíre}]

Rikki's eyes blazed. "That, strictly speaking, was not him," she retorted furiously. "Brooke is the one in charge of the Tempest Pack." Forcing herself to calm down she went on more quietly, a white mist forming in front of her mouth as she spoke, "But I know what you mean, Panja. And I don't know the answer." She loved Gravity too much to be able to say "no" to that question. But she truly didn't know what she would do, or how she would feel. Her cubs had only just been born, after all! She glanced down into the small, darkened burrow that sheltered them from the cold. And at once, she knew that she would have to kill almost anyone who took one of her cubs from her. Looking back up at Panja, the white female saw the anger in his eyes and tensed her body, getting ready in case he decided to take out the anguish he felt at his son's death on her. For if he did, there was little she could do to stop him.

The shivers that had been less noticeable before wracked her body as the storm increased in intensity. The Arctic Wolf was freezing cold and exhausted; the only part of her that felt as if it held any warmth was her head. She knew that with Panja's much shorter, thinner fur, he would be feeling the effects of the cold even more strongly than her. The white lion was obviously thinking along the same lines as her when he spoke. "You're right about that, but what can we do?" Her voice, like his, shook from the cold as she spoke, and she knew that they would both be dead within the hour if something wasn't done. But she also knew that she couldn't leave her cubs, otherwise they would surely die. And she would not, under any circumstances, sacrifice their tiny lives for hers.

Panja's suggestion, when it came, was sensible, although she felt the urge to wipe the smirk from his face with a well-placed blow. However, she did her best to ignore it, and pointed out the flaw in his plan. "My cubs will die if they are out in this directly with only my body head even for a moment," she told him, her voice quivering with something more than the cold. Her skin crawled at the thought of curling up next to him of all creatures, especially with her cubs, too, but what choice did she have? She was sure he did not relish the thought, either; in the end, they either helped one another or died. "If you came over here, we could possibly rest them between us, if you don't object, or work something else out. But I'm afraid I cannot move." Her voice was filled with certainty, the certainty of a mother who wants nothing but for her children to be as safe as they possibly can be.

[Zen]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=width,450,true]

[atrb=background,http://i1198.photobucket.com/albums/aa446/jadedog08/PanjaTableBg-1.png] His eyes traveling down to the batch of cubs at her belly, Panja visibly frowned. If she couldn’t move, it had to be up to him to close the distance between them. What was in reality only a few short feet seemed so much more to the tired lion, who was having a hard time even keeping himself sitting upright. He didn’t know how far he could make it, but he’d try. His need to survive was so great that he was willing to do almost anything at this point. "Very well," he answered her wearily. "I'll come to you." With a grunt, he began a very slow and excruciating walk over to her side. Every movement was pain. His legs were so heavy and numb by now that they felt leaden. It took every ounce of his strength and willpower to stay standing, to not lose balance and allow his limbs to buckle out from underneath him. Reaching his destination, he practically collapsed on top of her, sliding just slightly to the side to avoid crushing her completely under his immense weight. Panja let out a choking breath, his head falling limply between her shoulders while his hind legs stayed draped around her hips and his front ones dangled loose around her middle. He was too weak to try and move himself into a better position. White fur meshed with white fur, and soon enough he could feel their combined heat starting to bring strength back into his body. An involuntary sigh left his lips and he instinctively pressed himself closer to the source of the lifegiving warmth, steadying his paws in the snow and gently pushing against her, needing to be as close to the heat as possible. His eyes closed tightly, and only dimly aware of what he was doing, he moved a paw to scoop her tiny litter of cubs right up against their mother’s side, snuggling them in between the softness of his pads and her warm belly fur. A feeling of safety overcame him and he began to sense the onset of sleep coming to his body. And it was probably a fortunate thing he had only been half-conscious throughout that entire moment. ____ OOC: so. much. awkward. xD

[{Mactíre}]

Rikki watched Panja worriedly as he frowned. Would he be able to make it? She narrowed her eyes against the wind, feeling muzzy and exhausted, her body chilled to the bone by the cold despite her long, white fur. Finally the old white lion agreed to come to her, and instead of watching him, for she was sure that she would fall asleep if she did, the female turned to her cubs. The snow and blistering wind had reached their excuse for a den, and they had woken up. The black cub was struggling to get up and move towards her as he whimpered pitifully; the others were already crawling towards her warm belly. Pulling them towards her with gentle front leg, she was careful not to put them so close to her that they touched the snow.

The Arctic wolf had just lifted her head tiredly, to see if Panja had reached her yet, when she felt his weight press her down in the snow. She heard him let out a harsh breath, and in her semi-conscious state, she was barely aware of how awkward their positions would appear to anyone watching. His body heat was quickly warming her up, and her eyelids began to droop. Remembering her cubs, she looked up to see the white lion push her cubs closer to her side, so that they rested almost but not quite on the ground, curled up to her belly with his legs on their other side. Licking them carefully one by one to make sure they were all alive and warm, she felt them huddle closer to her body. Protected by her own body wamth and that of Panja and her cubs, the canine driften off to sleep, feeling protected despite the blizzard that whipped the bare branches of the tree, their only shelter, to and fro.

OOC;; I'm so sorry that this is so extremely short! School leaves me with no time or energy, especially with exams approaching. >.< Also, if you want to finish the thread here, I'm fine with that, but we could do an after-the-blizzard-ends bit where they find themselves in their current positions and it's all awkward. Up to you!