build me up, break me down -- [hunter]

[Zen]

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[atrb=background,http://i1198.photobucket.com/albums/aa446/jadedog08/panja2-1.png] In an isolated part of the beach, at the very end of the coastline, there was a small, rocky cove. Once upon a time, when the humans were still thriving, it had been a popular fishing and sightseeing spot, where on clear, cool autumn evenings like this, it would be crowded with throngs of city dwellers and tourists alike who had come to bask in the beautiful scenery. The place had become well-known for its peaceful seclusion and its charming view of the sunset. Now, though, its existence was mostly forgotten, and anyone who came here usually had just stumbled upon it by sheer luck, as Panja had. He found himself spending more and more time here nowadays. It was safe and quiet. It was a good place to think, just as it was a good place to shut out the rest of the world and not think. A large slab of rock jutted out towards the horizon and it was there that he sat perched, still as a statue so that from afar he seemed to be a part of the stone itself. Waves crashed against the sides of the rock, occasionally misting his body with a cool spray of brine that he did not flinch away from. A makeshift pier had been built off to the side of the rock. Tied to it was a single fishing boat, a beaten-up piece of wood that had long ago been abandoned by its owner. As he watched it float in a sad, lonely motion against the incoming tide, Panja exhaled a deep sigh and lowered himself flat against the stone, his broad shoulders and well-muscled legs relaxing into a state of rest. He could feel the tension draining from his body as the sun began to dip lower and lower into the sky. This time of day had a way of calming him, but he did long for some company, a familiar face to sit beside him and comfort him. Two weeks ago he had unofficially left the Iris Pride, feeling that the place that had been his home for the past three years no longer offered him anything he wanted, which was peace and happiness and to not have to witness or be responsible for any more death and bloodshed. His days as a leader and a soldier were over. Thinking about it, he realized he had never really been happy with his role as the Leader to begin with. It hadn’t been meant for him; it had belonged to Florence, who knew how to be in charge and command an entire pride, and he would have been more than happy to just sit on the sidelines and give her his advice and support when she needed it. He hadn’t wanted any power. It had practically been forced upon him, and he had been given no choice but to quietly submit and accept it. It was either that or disgrace the promises he had made to Florence. Now, though, he didn’t care so much about that anymore. He had moved on from his deceased mate, had become someone new and better. From time to time he still thought about her and missed her, but there were other times where he wondered, if by some miracle she came back from the dead, if he would even still love her. He didn’t know. He was so different now, and everything had changed - his life, his point of view, how he felt about the Iris Pride, everything. He had once loved the thrill of battle, and now this whole war seemed like a curse upon the city. He had once wanted to see all canines dead beneath his paws, but he’d learned there were some canines who deserved to be respected. When he looked back and remembered how violent he’d been, how he’d tortured and killed for amusement and Florence’s attention, it deeply disturbed him. But with his son in charge now, the Pride would regain its former strength. It would move on without him. It didn’t need him anymore, and besides that, he had nothing left to give it. His children didn’t seem to need or want him either, since he could tell they held bitterness and contempt for him, with the exception of maybe Denim who he barely saw much of anyway. Oftentimes he wondered if anyone had even noticed the absence of his presence around the Pride...if they did, he was sure someone would have come looking for him by now. But no one had. Panja closed his eyes. He was starving for company and for some love and affection. Not being a real part of the Pride anymore had at first left him feeling liberated, but now he was left with nothing, no friends or family or even anyone to talk to. He was utterly alone. Letting the sounds of the ocean lull him, he began to drift into a light, uneasy rest, wishing he could wake up in a better place, somewhere far from this city.

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[Hunter]

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[atrb=background,http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5227/5583692288_159ae396a5_z.jpg] Kira walks. "Kira talks."

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She was getting frustrated. For two weeks, Kira had barely seen Panja’s shadow. What was going on with that old man? Shouldn’t he be helping his son who now had become the new leader? On the other hand… Kira realized she didn’t even know how the relationship was between Panja and Alexander. Maybe Alexander had told his big, bad dad to stay away and let him rule the show. Would make sense. And would be better for the pride. But not knowing where the old white lion was still nagged her. She wasn’t finished with him… she hadn’t gotten any revenge for what he’d done to her. And with never getting the opportunity to “talk” to her mother, the thought about getting revenge from Panja was even more important for the young lioness.

But of course she wouldn’t seem to be too interested in Panja’s disappearance, so she hadn’t asked many for guidance as for what could have happened to him. But even those few, loyal members of the pride she had asked hadn’t known anything about their old leader’s whereabouts. How useless. Just like her half siblings. Just like Panja… her oh so beloved teacher and step father. She would turn 3 years old soon and then she would for sure be a fully adult lioness. She was sure she had drained all useful knowledge out of Panja’s mind when he still had been a warrior, but now when he was turning into dust, there was no need of him anymore. It was time for revenge. She had no fear of Alexander. He was the leader of the pride, but what could be physically do to her? He was probably just as pathetic as his father. She suspected he didn’t even had the balls to throw her out of the pride if his little brain even could figure out what she wanted to do to his father. But oh well. As long as he just kept the Iris Pride strong against the Tempest Pack, Kira was fine with him for now. She just didn’t want that little boy to spoil everything with some silly idea, but for now he was… probably doing fine.

Walking on the beach, Kira snarled. No, nothing was fine. She was the daughter of the wrong male. The daughter of Streiter, the deceased leader of the Lexis Tribe. For some reason, seeing him committing suicide had never left Kira’s mind. That old man had been sick, just sick. Like Panja. Both of them where peaceloving fools. Luckily one of them were gone… but Panja just seemed like never wanting to drop dead. He was ancient! When would he go so she could get rid of him? After knowing that Streiter was her father, Kira hadn’t wanted to do anything but to rip him apart, fulfill her task and then prove the pride that she could be just as good as any of them. But with Streiter killing himself and Florence dying after trying to save her second litter… nothing seemed to be right. Her father hadn’t wanted his children to get blood on their claws and her mother had loved her second littler much more than herself and her siblings – even Denim who had grown up to be a peacelover himself. No, nothing was fine. Nothing! She’d long ago in the alley told Panja that she wanted to win the match she’d been born to loose. But was she even close at winning? She hadn’t succeeded in killing Streiter and now Alexander was the leader while Nebula was a well-loved member of the pride. But what was she to the pride? Was she even better than Orbit who’d died? Whose death sometimes still was mourned by pridemembers? Being better than only Denim was far from enough for her!

It was then that a familiar scent was caught by her nostrils and she recognized it immediately. Panja. Perfect, just perfect. She’d finally found whom she was looking for. She bared her fangs in a silent snarl. Why was he so far from the pride? Going into a trot, Kira soon saw Panja’s white frame which got bigger and bigger with every step she took. As she was at a close distance to him, she stopped. Was he sleeping out here? Did he even know how vulnerable he was if some canines should come by? Foolish as always, she thought angrily but her façade remained. Toward Panja she acted like a friend, and as far as she knew, she had done it quite well. So it should hopefully be easy enough to get answers out from that silly, old lion. Standing there for a second, seeing him old and fragile like this… it felt like something cold clenched to her heart. Nonsense – it was probably nothing. Shaking her head, Kira made ready to act.

”Panja… wake up. What are you doing out here?” she asked softly when she had closed the distance between them, nudging his mane gently with her nose and forehead. How scary. After such a long time, acting nicely toward him became easier and easier to her.

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[Zen]

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[atrb=background,http://i1198.photobucket.com/albums/aa446/jadedog08/panja2-1.png] Panja stirred from his gentle sleep, his massive chest expanding as he drew out a long, heavy breath. His eyes were still shut, but he could feel someone’s presence close by, standing right next to him on the rock. Or was he just dreaming? He didn’t move again until he heard Kira’s voice speaking softly into his ear. One of his eyes fluttered open to look at her while she nudged her forehead along his mane. No, definitely not a dream. He leaned in a bit against the touch and let her body heat warm him. It felt like a lifetime since he’d gotten any affection from anyone, even if all she was doing was trying to wake him. Groaning quietly from the stiffness in his legs, he slid into an upright sitting position and turned his head towards her, blinking in surprise. “Kira, how did you find me out here?” Not that he wasn’t glad to see her; he was simply curious. As far as he knew, not many others seemed to be aware that this secluded little place even existed. Had she followed his scent and come looking for him? He was amazed if anyone from Iris, especially Kira, still cared enough to be concerned about him. He'd been sure she would have lost all respect for him after his attempt at making peace. In response to her question, he gave a small shrug and said, “I come here often to think and relax. It’s my new home, I guess you could say.” Panja frowned to himself, wondering if she would bring up the subject of why he had left the Pride. He assumed most people had already figured out his reasons, but he hadn’t exactly talked about it with anyone yet. “How are the cubs doing?” he asked after awhile. His eyes had wandered out to gaze at the horizon, squinting against the brightness of the setting sun. Alexander and Nebula were probably ecstatic with their new positions of power, but he did worry about Denim. “And the rest of the Pride?” Do they all hate me? he wanted to add, but didn’t. He was pretty sure he already knew the answer. “Oh, and you, of course. What are you up to these days?” His lips curved into a slight smile and he looked at her more closely. Against the light of the sunset she looked...older somehow. More mature. She was nearly three years old now, a fully grown adult, but he somehow hadn’t really noticed it until now. He couldn't believe this was once the gangly little cub he used to train.

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[Hunter]

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[atrb=background,http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5227/5583692288_159ae396a5_z.jpg] Kira walks. "Kira talks."

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“I was searching for you and caught your scent,” she said shortly in a soft tone. Now when he sat up, Kira noticed that he probably wasn’t as old and weak as she’d thought him to be. As she’d hoped he was. He was old but still muscular and fit for living on his own, but he was still weak. Weak of mind. Not a strong and confident warrior of the pride as she was. She tilted her head to the side as he spoke, calling this silly place his new home. It was for sure a beautiful place but Kira was all too concerned about Panja and the situation in the Iris Pride to notice that. ”Your new home,” Kira mumbled, almost questioning but not going further into it. At least not for now.

It was then the white lion asked a question which seemed typical for his soft personality. Of course he cared for his and Florence’s cubs… what else should he be interested in? ”They’re fine… I guess,” she said with a shrug. She’d never really liked her half siblings but she wasn’t sure if Panja knew about it. He’d been astonished when she in the alley had called them scum and said they were no better than the canines, but she wasn’t sure if he even remembered it. It also seemed like such a long time ago… when her mother had still been alive. She had mourned her mother’s death, at least in her own way. But had it been enough? Was she missing her? Or did she wish she’d had a mother more loving than Florence? She quickly pushed the thoughts aside. The questions would make her break her emotionless façade and she had no interest in that. She wasn’t a cub anymore, she couldn’t show weakness. Especially not in front of Panja. Not to the inferior canines either. Or anyone else who knew that Streiter was her father… No, no one should ever see her being weak.

”The pride is doing fine as well. Alexander is doing well enough and he has all the felines around him that he needs help from,” she said honestly while looking into his eyes. ”Except for you,” she ended and looked away. ”I think he needs you,” she mumbled as she looked down on her paws. ”He might be angry with you for being away from the pride, but your advice is priceless and it is important for him to be guided in any way he can. He’s still young and he needs to learn what you’ve taught me,” she concluded, now finally looking at her old teacher again. Truth was that Kira was more interested in having Panja close than she was in Alexander getting training. But of course Panja didn’t need to know that. She just wanted to make sure he didn’t wander about too much – who knew what would happen if the Tempest Pack got their teeth in him? Panja knew so much about the pride so he would be really useful for the pack. But even worse, what if he got on friendly basis with the dogs? He seemed to like some of the Tempest canines too much already… who knew in what way this white lion would backstab his pride?

She flinched for a second when he questioned her well-being. How was she? How would she know? ”I’m fine,” she said but felt a cold hand clutch her heart. ”You’ve taught me well Panja, you shouldn’t worry about me.” She wasn’t sure if Panja could see that she was lying. But truth was that she didn’t even know how she was. She always shoved it aside and thought about either filthy canines or Panja.

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[Zen]

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[atrb=background,http://i1198.photobucket.com/albums/aa446/jadedog08/panja2-1.png] She’d come looking for him. He didn’t know why that made him so happy, but it did. “I know I shouldn’t worry about you. I can’t help it, though.” He gave a short laugh and a small, fleeting smile. It was good to hear the Pride was holding itself together still, and that there didn’t seem to be any major problems for her to report. Maybe he no longer felt connected to Iris, but they were still a part of him, and he still worried. Her comment about Alex, however...no, he couldn’t believe his son still needed him. He'd seen the look in his cub's eyes when Alex had come to overthrow him: there had been nothing but hatred and disgust on his face. “He doesn’t,” Panja said curtly. His tone wasn’t bitter or angry, just honest. “There’s nothing I have to teach him, Kira. There was a time when I thought war was the answer to all our problems, but now I realize that all this fighting and bloodshed has done nothing but tear my family apart. I don’t want to see my son die the way his mother did, or watch him go into battle and take the lives of innocent children. That's a big part of why I left. There’s no way I could take him under my wing and train him, like I did for you, knowing he would one day use the knowledge I give him to continue all this senseless fighting. I just…I just can’t. I don’t expect you to understand or agree with me, but there it is.” He shook his head, sighing, suddenly feeling a lot older than he really was. “Besides, the few times I tried to talk to him, he barely even wanted to look at me.” Panja suddenly tensed up. His eyes narrowed and focused on her face, almost challengingly. “How are you even still looking at me? Aren’t you ashamed of me? I tried to make peace with the Tempest Pack, Kira.” How could she even stand to be in his presence? How did she still care about him? It just didn’t make any sense. His own cubs refused to speak or listen to him. They probably hated him. So... why didn’t she? OOC: sorry it’s short! I’m just so sick of Panja, all he does is annoy me anymore >_>

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[Hunter]

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[atrb=background,http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5227/5583692288_159ae396a5_z.jpg] Kira walks. "Kira talks."

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”Old habits die hard I guess,” she said with a chuckle. “You’ve been my teacher for a long time - ‘guess it has become natural for you to look after me,” she added with a shrug and a glint in her pretty, brown eyes. He was laughing, that was a good sign, even though he probably felt a bit foolish for still worrying about her. Oh well, then he could finally feel how she actually saw him; as a foolish, old lion.

She didn’t really listen to Panja’s babbling but just looked at him as if she was listening, as if she was thinking about his words. She was also thinking about his babbling, hearing words like peace, innocent dogs and all that stuff… badr, how disgusting it was. Poor ears of hers, how they had to bleed just to make Panja like her. Even though he wasn’t a part of the pride anymore, Kira still wanted to be on his good side until she found a way to get her sweet revenge. How she thirsted for it. She’d waited for a really long time now and knew she wouldn’t be able to move on before she could stand victoriously over the lion who mounted her mother. How lucky she was that Panja hadn’t tried anything with her – he disgusted her enough already.

But all good to those who wait, she thought. Getting revenge over Panja would for sure be a sweet affair and she couldn't wait to get her chance. She just needed the right plan. Besides, since she'd waited for a long time, she should be able to wait a little longer.

As for Alexander, oh well, she couldn’t really blame him for hating his own father. She hated her own father as well - even if he’d been dead for quite a while now – and she also hated the one who’d taken his place… Whether she wanted it or not, Panja was her stepfather, and technically there wasn’t anything she could do to erase that fact. To be honest, Kira felt really unlucky with the males which had been in her life so far. Both of them were peace-loving old fools who were good for nothing. Once she’d looked up to Panja, but he’d ruined that himself. Yes, all of this was his fault. All the hatred she felt, all the hours he’d taken her mother away from her when she’d been busy nursing the new litter of cubs. It was all his fault.

Panja suddenly tensed and his eyes narrowed. For a second she recognized her teacher as he’d been. Strong, challenging, dangerous. Had she been a cub she would flinch from his gaze. She’d done that when she’d been younger and done something completely wrong or lied to him, but she was almost fully adult now, and his gaze didn’t make her stand back an inch. Not even though she was lying him straight up in the face. “I didn’t agree with your idea of a truce with the Tempest Pack,” she concluded. ”I actually think it was stupid of you, especially since you hadn’t spoken about it with others in the pride before you spoke to the dogs,” she said dryly. “But… I’ve known you my entire life and I can’t just push you away,” she continued, now speaking in a softer tone, completing her act.

((OOC: You have no idea of how good it felt to finally make a reply to this thread! ))
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[Zen]

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[atrb=background,http://i1198.photobucket.com/albums/aa446/jadedog08/panja2-1.png] He nodded slowly, already figuring she would admit her disapproval of his attempt at a peace offering. Her wry tone of voice made him raise one eyebrow at her in equally dry amusement, but he didn’t argue. He wasn’t naive. She wouldn’t have been among the cats to show support of his idea, that much was obvious. It disappointed him, yes, but he knew he couldn’t change her views, and at least she hadn’t tried to lie or pretend she did agree just to make him feel better about it. “Believe me, Kira, I didn’t try to make an alliance with Tempest because I wanted to. I hate those dogs and that pack more than anything – they killed many of my comrades and ripped my family apart. They scarred my two cubs for life, they murdered my innocent son and your mother. I despise Tempest with all my heart. But the thing is, without peace between the packs, those kinds of horrors will only continue. That’s why I did it; not because I want to show mercy and kindness to those dogs, but because I care for the good of the Pride and the families of its members. Even if you disagree, I hope you can at least understand my reasoning.” As for why he hadn’t discussed the treaty with anyone else, well, he had to admit she had a right to be frustrated with him for that. “It was more of a spur of the moment decision,” he said, trying to justify himself somewhat, though he still felt a bit sheepish about it. “The idea had been forming in my head for awhile, but I hadn’t fully decided I was going to ask for peace until the day of the gathering. There just really wasn’t time to ask the opinions of the entire of the Pride, so I decided to do what I thought was right at the time. I figured I would never get another chance to have a non-violent meeting with Tempest.” He wrapped his long tail around his ankles and sat back, sighing almost wistfully. “But it doesn’t matter now. Nothing’s changed and the war will carry on as it always has. I’m just thankful I will not be a part of it anymore, not directly anyway. As long as I’m cautious, I should be able to live out the rest of my years here in peace and quiet.” The biggest problem, he knew, was going to be providing for himself. Hunting had never really been his forte – he’d spent most of his life relying on others to bring him food, and not only that, but his abnormally colored fur was not at all helpful in maintaining stealth while searching for prey in the dense, green forests. There was also, of course, the constant threat of being ambushed by a roving gang of canines. But he’d just have to manage somehow. For the first time in years, he’d have to fend completely for himself with no help from friends or family, relying only on his strength and will to survive. “As for you, Kira, there’s one last bit of advice I want to give you. Advice, as well as a favor.” Panja looked at her seriously again, leaning his muzzle in so that there was no longer much distance between them, so close their whiskers were nearly brushing. He wanted her to hear and absorb every word he was about to say. “You’re going to be a big influence in the Pride now, whether you want it or not. The Pride is weak at the moment and so they are going to start looking towards the strong cats to lead them out of this rut. My son and daughter will also no doubt look to you for guidance and support. You must be prepared for the role you’re about to play in Iris’ future. And the next time the Pride is thrust into battle, please do look out for my cubs. They’re still young, they’re inexperienced and haven’t had nearly as much training as you. I know they’re not really your siblings, but they need you, Kira. The thought of them being forced to go into battle terrifies me...but knowing you’re there beside them, I’ll be able to rest a little easier. And if something should...happen to me, and I don’t get to see you again after this, I just want you to always remember everything I taught you. You’ve grown into a fine lioness and a strong warrior, and I’m proud to call you my student. And also remember that...I care for you, truly, and that even if we don’t always agree on some things, you’re still an important part of my life as well,” he finished awkwardly. OOC: my god HE NEVER. SHUTS. UP.

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[Hunter]

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[atrb=background,http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5227/5583692288_159ae396a5_z.jpg] Kira walks. "Kira talks."

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Why on earth had Panja wanted to try to save the pride by offering peace? He should’ve concentrated on wiping them out instead. Of course he wanted the best for the pride, because who didn’t? But the best for the pride was to continue the war – not giving the dogs a bit of space. They would just use the opportunity to get a massive blow to the pride, and even though Kira wasn’t a leader at all, she didn’t want that for the loyal members of the pride. Apart from this, Kira knew that her mother and Orbit had meant a lot to the older lion, and she didn’t understand why he hadn’t taken it more personally. All he’d done was getting depressed while he should’ve gathered the pride to war against the Tempest pack so they could’ve avenged their deaths. But oh no, Panja had been too weak and had only gotten weaker with time. Good he wasn’t their leader anymore.

She perked her ears as he spoke of why he hadn’t spoken about his decision to others before talking to the dogs. Especially his want about peace and quiet made her frustrated, but she kept her façade. She wouldn’t show frustration of seeing how her teacher had grown all soft. What better than a useless lapdog had he become? She had to come up with a plan soon so she could get her revenge. Panja had for sure turned into a disgrace to the Iris Pride. How could he live with becoming so soft? So ignorant? How stupid was someone even allowed to be? She definitely couldn’t forgive him for acting like this.

As for his next words, Kira went from her listening mode to a slight frown. ”Advice?... And what kind of favour?” She still sounded interested in his words, but actually she was boiling inside. How dared he to think he was still his teacher? How dared he to think that he still was good enough to give her advices and ask a favour of her? She wanted to lean away from her as he came closer, but of course she kept her ground, tilting her head a bit as if she had become truly curious as of what he had to say. ”Yearh… I suppose I will get a somehow important role,” she replied, leaning a bit back as if she needed to think about what he’d just said, as if she had to get used to the thought about suddenly getting bigger responsibility. But actually it was just nice to get a bit of space so that Panja’s warm breath wasn’t as intense against her face. ”And don’t worry too much about Alexander and Nebula, I will take care of them in the battles which may come in the future,” she said with a little, friendly smile on her lips. Who’d have thought Panja wanted her to be babysitter of his children? She who never had cared for them! But fair enough, who else did he even have to ask? But her little amusement had to wait as Panja spoke up one last time, confessing how much she meant to her. Seems like I’ve achieved my goal, she thought as her friendly smile to her teacher and stepfather became a little broader. She had him where she wanted him, good. Now she just needed a plan so that she could get her revenge. ”Thank you, Panja. It’s nice of you to tell me - and nice to know after what we’ve been through…” she trailed off and looked over the ocean. Hmm, maybe this really was a beautiful place. Why hadn’t she noticed a little sooner? Oh well, it didn’t really matter now, did it? ”I guess I need to go back,” she said suddenly, still looking at the ocean. ”But I hope I’ll see you again soon, because it was nice to see you again. And now I have an idea of where to look for you” she continued, now looking into his eyes. She closed the distance between them and rubbed her cheek against his, then shortly covering her face in his mane, his scent filling her nostrils. ”I’ll see you soon,” she whispered in his ear before she slowly pulled back, gave him an almost shy smile and turned to walk back to the pride.

Now it was time to get things rolling.

((OOC: Your frustration is amusing! xD Feel free to post one more time with Panja if you want, but I think this is my last with Kira unless there is more you want to play out ^^))

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